Prayer

For possibly the first time I said the rosary. Yup, the first time. My grandmother's rosary hangs in Ben's room. (I bought her a rosary during my trip to Rome in 2000 - and it has since come back to me) . After I put Ben down for a nap - I knew I needed time for prayer. It's been a difficult week. I have been trying to dedicate time from my day to spend time Thanking God, Jesus and Mary for a wonderful day, even if it was emotionally draining with melt downs and screaming. With the help of the internet today I said the rosary. I am sure not perfect, in fact I know it was not perfect. but it gave me such a wonderful feeling of relaxation and a closeness to God. I did apologize to God, Jesus and Mary for my lack of love towards them. as I did my eyes filled with light and my body with warmth. I haven't really given up anything for Lent but instead have added prayer time and alone time with God. I have been praying lots to Mary. For her to fill me with compassion, and patience when dealing with Ben's melt downs. As a first time mom, I have no idea what I am doing. I often find myself now (in the past few weeks) asking what would Mary do?... doesn't it seem like she would have all the answers. even if I don't know what to do - just asking myself this puts me in a place of calm and relaxation to be able to deal with the screaming and the melt downs. Our house is again at peace during these times. And it has definitely helped me at the 2am feedings and when Ben decides to wake up every 2 hours. I am not perfect at these times, I know, but it has helped me. and when I find myself getting frustrated with the situation I remember Mary and how she would have had to deal with a screaming child too, and how calm she must have been. I am not perfect. My house is never fully cleaned,my fridge is never full, my cooking is hit and miss, and my life is disorganized, but my love for Ben is always and forever there. Not once have I stopped loving him. In all he does. My love for God, Jesus and Mary is getting there- It was always there but wasn't always in my heart. They never abandoned me but I abandoned them in my time of need.

Anyway to sum it all up - I feel very refreshed today after saying the rosary - I am going to make a good solid effort to say it everyday. And really it didn't take as long as I thought. I have to remember though to slow it down and really think about what I am saying and reflecting on.

I am leaving you with this song. I have been playing it over and over and over again all day long this week.

Hail Mary,Gentle woman

sewing and working

It's been a long two weeks - I have been sewing happily with my new sewing machine - completing two projects... slow but steady. I will post them later as one of the finished projects is a gift.

And I have been working in my basement on actual work. It's hard to leave Ben upstairs with my Sister in law but I do need to work. So it's kind of a split thing. Work is good for money and paying the bills, but sad because it takes me away from Ben for a little while. But tomorrow is mommy and Ben day! I am so excited! I get him all to myself!

I have a lot more to say but need more time to compose myself.

Thank God!

After a very stressful week with Ben - He is now back to his old wonderful,easy going, self! I wasn't sure how much more I could take! He was so grumpy last week that if you even looked at him a funny way - he would freak out! I was going stir crazy! But now we have all gotten our much needed sleep and we are back on track!Ben and I went fabric shopping today in hopes of bringing some spring into our kitchen with a new table runner... and then some fabric to make a nursing cover - I have a nursing cover that my sister in law gave to us. It's wonderful! but Ben is growing and I am nowhere near being a pro at breastfeeding so I will attempt to make a bigger one.

{the floral and blue are for the table runner and the black is the nursing cover}

I will let you know how these go - I will attempt to cut and pin them tonight now that Ben goes to bed at a decent time!

I put together Ben's highchair all by myself! I have been noticing that Ben likes to be able to see me - so I figured I would set that up so that when I am in the kitchen cooking and baking he can be there too - sitting and playing with his toys. He loves it and we often now eat our supper at the table with Ben. Ben has also tried brown rice cereal for the first time. He loved it!!! He wanted more afterwards! but I have waited a few days to give it to him again. I am not sure if mommy is ready for that step. I thought I was - but now I am not sure! silly me!

{first time in the high chair and cereal!}

Not much else is going on - Jon and I have been attending Church again and it feels so good to connect together with God. I am Roman Catholic and Jon is Lutheran - We attend the Lutheran church - which is so very similar to the Catholic Church (yes I know it is a separation of the catholic church) but I do miss the Catholic service a little. Maybe it is because I know a catholic service inside and out. and am still getting use to the Lutheran ones.... Either way it is great to be together on the path of faith again.

YAY!

I am so excited! I just got back from purchasing a sewing machine! I can't wait to start some projects! I am not sure what to make or anything but I am just happy to have one! I started sewing in 2009! Yup I had no idea how to even sew a button! and so I took a class and now I can sew some what.... I am still learning! ok ok I have a lot to learn!

The past week has been kind of intense... Jon got the stomach flu.. Ben is incredibly grumpy! I was ready to check myself into the butterscotch palace! Today seems to be the best day that Ben has had - back to his happy self and not fighting sleep as much. Today he is much more himself. Which makes for a happy mommy! I think he is teething! He can't get enough chomping on things! What a monkey! He had cereal for the first time last night and he loved it!!! He was angry when he ate the whole bowl!!! That's a great thing.. I think we are going to try baby led weaning. I do need to read up on it a little more but it seems interesting and really... who has time to puree everything. I think Ben will have a solid appetite! so I think he will do well with it.

Anyway the boy is finally napping and I need to get some supper going and the house needs a good tiding!

Happy Friday!