My man of many faces!

{No matter how cranky you are, or how little sleep we get, I will ALWAYS love you!}

little things I love

We are back to cranky Ben and waking every 2 hours. this kid will not sleep more then 2 hrs! I am at a loss. Jon was apparently the same way until he was 2!! We are in for a long year and a half! Oh well. The days are long... so I have thought about writing something more positive.

These are just little things I love (other then Ben, Jon and Lola!)

- I love the sound of the wind in the trees. I love the sound of wind anyway.

- I love having my windows open.

- I love the sound of children playing in the street (or recently a child practicing an instrument down the street- at least I think it was a child...)

- I love going for long walks and then coming home to calculate just how far I have gone.

- I love the look the shadows of trees make in the sunshine.

- I love to cloud gaze.

- I love listening to storms and rain ( I can't wait for the first storm of the season!)

- I love the smell of bread baking

- I love people watching.

- I love saying the rosary with candles lit, and having peaceful time to reflect on my faith.

- I love popcorn! mmmmm

- I love walking bare feet ( in sand, grass, in the driveway! you name it!)

- I love midnight cuddles with Ben even when he gets up every 2 hrs. I used to get frustrated with getting up so much but now I look at the positive of that I get to cuddle with a not so cuddly boy anymore.

- I love listening to Cape Breton music. It reminds me of summer days in the sun.

- I love traveling ( although I am stressing out with the thought of traveling with Ben on a 4 hr plane ride at the end of the month - by myself!)

- I love when Ben giggles over and over again ( rare moments!)

- I love a clean house ( sadly my house is no where near being clean!)

- I love hanging clothes outside to dry instead of the dryer.

- I love the smell of lilac trees!

- and I love the sound of a purring cat!

His special day

Ben has been Baptized! Oh what a glorious feeling. It was a beautiful day surrounded by our family and friends. My dad came from the east coast and met him for the first time, my mom came from Ottawa, my brother came up from Calgary. My sister is in school in Ontario so she could not make it - but we are so proud of her for almost finishing school!

Other then that Ben's second tooth popped but he's been so off this whole week - not sleeping and not wanting to cuddle or be held by me! (heartbreaking!) but we had a great night of sleep last night! Hopefully he'll be back to himself soon.

well not much to say - I have tons of things going on today so I am up early to get them done!

WHAT A DIFFERENCE!

I have cut out dairy and soy in my diet to see if it would help Ben put on some weight.... and really I don't care about the weight (well I do... but!) He is a completely different baby! We are now having more good days then bad! And he is sooooo happy! he's the happy go lucky guy we knew he always was! What a relieve! I was at my breaking point several times with him. and now that we think we know what is wrong - it has made the world of difference in him! I no longer want to check myself into the butterscotch palace! He has completely changed! and I have too. I seem to have more patience, and am able to understand what he was going through and now know that when he is crabby it is because of milk/soy or something that just didn't agree with him. He is still teething but man, the grumpy days are hopefully over! And now we are having more good days then bad! this makes our home a much more happy and peaceful place!

My dad came into town this week from the east coast. Ben's baptism is on Sunday. Saturday night was the first time my father has ever met Ben. It was a touching moment for me. I cried leading up to the day about it so I was so full of happiness when he did meet Ben. Ben was so interested in Grandpa Johnny's moustache. It was so cute!

My mom will be coming in on friday! I can't wait. She hasn't seen Ben since Christmas! I have lots of work to do (Home and actual work!) before she arrives. My place is a mess! I am trying to find the time to get everything done.

Anyway - I will post some photos soon of everything!

xo

Operation no swaddle to commence!

It's been a long month.... Ben hasn't been gaining weight (1 lbs in 2 1/2 months!) And food hasn't been agreeing with him. He had an allergic reaction to oatmeal and threw up for 2 + hours of bile. Not cool. So looking in to things we think he has FPIES (Food Protein Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome) and the lack of weight we think is a milk/soy casein so I have eliminated dairy and soy from my diet - we have a weight appointment in June to see how we do - We have not yet been diagnosed but we are seeing if this makes a difference. So there are a lot of foods Ben can't have and now it is incredibly important that we wait a few days before introducing new foods - so this eating thing as been a long journey. so far he can have advocado, mango, carrots (although we have to try this one again) , and we tried pears last night. He has really been turned off of eating since the oatmeal incident...

Also - He cut a tooth! It's a sharp little guy, but exciting none the less. I have been pureeing his food - but since he is kind of turned off by that we are going to try and do baby led weaning now. He had such a strong interest in food up until the oatmeal..... so I am hoping to try and convince him otherwise.

We are also starting today "Operation no swaddle at nap time"... I want to break this habit and so right now is the first no swaddle nap time. If it goes well night time will happen too. So far so good - sleeping for 15 mins. I am great at letting him cry it out and be grumpy during the day - but night time is a different story - not so good at it and in fact it stresses me out! so I am trying everything during the day and then moving to nights. Hopefully it is not a long process. but with Ben every single day is different. We could have a great day with food, or sleep, or happiness and the next everything has taken 1000 steps back. Everything is a process with him and nothing is easy. I have to remind my self 5 million times a day "God doesn't give us anything we can't handle.." and I am pretty sure I pray to Mary 5 million and 10 times a day to ask her for her motherly guidance and to give me patience in this time.

Anyway I am going to try and get a few things done before the operation fails... Crossing my fingers it won't and we will have success!

Sometimes I want to check myself in to the Butterscotch Palace

It's been a crazy 2 weeks and I am finally feeling the effects of not sleeping... I am cranky and tired. Ben has been waking up every 2 hours to "eat". I think he started a habit of it when he had a cold nursing every hour or two because I am sure he had a sore throat and that made it feel better. Well he isn't sick anymore and I am struggling with getting him to sleep more then 2 hours at night. It's starting to take it's toll on me and I just want to jump ship. I have tried letting him cry it out at night (which worked for us for when he goes down for a nap - usually there is no more crying just lays and talks to whoever is in the room with him). However the midnight cry it out sucks. I have a hard time with it not to mention Jon has a hard time with it too. Last night Ben's "grumpy midnight time" came - I fed him, and then put him down - not a minute later he was screaming. there was nothing I could do for him.. he wanted to scream if I held him, scream if I put him down, scream scream scream... and there was Jon - just laying in bed snoring away.. so I left the monitor on, took my pillow went to the couch and slept there. Jon did deal with Ben and I got some sleep... guilty sleep... but sleep. and now I have a grumpy baby all day long.... and a husband who isn't really talking to me (granted he is at work - but hasn't text me all day -out of the norm)... Ugh don't you have days where you need a mommy vacation from it all. I would love to just get away - but then the guilt would set in within 20 mins of leaving the house. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE BEN AND JONATHAN with all my heart!! But this non-stop grumpy nights suck! I though sleep got better when they get older - not worse! Now I don't expect Ben to sleep through the night - but he should be going more then 2 hours! Ok... rant over. Done and done moving on.

I am going to take Arianne's post and copy it. I think it is time to reflect on the good things in life that keep us going.

1. Jonathan.. He is my heart, my rock, my everything. Without him I'd be lost, and not who I am today (even though most days I don't love myself). He loves me no matter what (at least that is what he says!)

{Right before Benjamin was born}

2. Benjamin! I couldn't imagine life without him.. in fact I barely remember life before him. I love him.

{The most recent photo shoot with Ben}

3. My family... This includes all "Niblings!" siblings, mom (mother in law), dad (dad in law) sister in laws, brother in laws, and all blood related and non blood related family. If I know you - you are most likely my family. without their wonderful guidance, their unconditional love, I would be nowhere.

{since my family is too big and I haven't put everyones picture into one .. you get my little family}

4. I also love my cat- yes I am that crazy cat lady - It is so nice to have a fluffy little kitty that will let me cry and cuddle with her whenever I need her - like last night on the couch.

{Best little kitty in the world!}

5. I love chocolate! Thanks to Ben I am now a chocoholic. Before Ben I could leave sweets alone.. in fact ,easter chocolates of mine would last a year - unless found by Jon. Now a piece of chocolate bar gives me great joy when eating...

6. I am so thankful to be able to take Ben for walks. He loves them and now with Spring almost here , the sunshine really helps us to be happy and thankful. The warm feeling when it falls upon your face truly does wonders for the soul

7. I am so thankful for finding my path in my faith (yes it is a bumpy path) but I can now see a little in front of me. There is always a long way to go but I am thankful that in my time of need (these sleepless nights) I am able to pray - I am lacking on my promise to say prayers and the rosary lately. Being able to speak to Mary when I am having difficult nights helps so much. I haven't done this in awhile and think that is why I feel like checking myself into the butterscotch palace these days.

*History - the "Crazy" house back home was painted a butterscotch color therefor we refer to it as the butterscotch palace.

quick: Sewing project

Here is the table runner that I made for our table at home. It was so simple to make - I made my sister in law one too (different material) as a Thank You for babysitting Ben A couple of times!

{The one I made for our table}

{It's reversible}

{The one for my sister in law}